BROTHERHOOD OF THE FREAKS

Sardar Jee Jokes

2009-01-13T11:27:00.001+08:00

Yeh, I know this is stupid, but just wanted to share some jokes with you guys before we get to the serious stuff... you've been warned...

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car...
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening...
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order sir, so I made it sequencely.

Museum Administrator: U stupid..That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken!!
Sardar: Thanks god!!! I thought it was a new one...

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O god!! I have lost my hand, oh!!
Sardar: Control yourself sir.. Don't cry.. See that man. he has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is "All India Radio!"

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....Dhhuuuurrrrrrrr......
Inteviewer Shouts: Stop it !!!!!
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrr.. dhup dhup dhup dhup...... Stop ready sir..

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Mystique Is Pregnant!

2009-01-01T09:35:00.000+08:00

"Mystique is Pregnant" featuring Jerry O'Connell and Rebecca Romijn by Jerry Minor

Sesame Street's Bert & Ernie as DeNiro & Pesci

2008-10-04T03:04:00.001+08:00

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

My Life As A Geek: At The Clone Wars Premiere!

2008-08-26T23:21:00.011+08:00

The Suantum of Qolace

2008-08-08T15:03:00.000+08:00

The two "Is" parodies (NSFW!)

2008-08-03T12:10:00.001+08:00

Six supposed action heroes you could probably take in a fight

2008-06-28T22:04:00.002+08:00

Some heroes we worship, like Blade and John McClane, deserve every bit of our badassery worship. Others, however, make us question our state of mind at the time these heroes were still in vogue. Here are six suggested by Cracked.com.

Star Trek Rap

2008-06-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

For your entertainment. Word. Umm, I mean engage.

Tech Stuff Cool or Nerd?

2008-05-12T10:54:00.003+08:00

It seems like only yesterday that I got my Glasstron and now... lookie wat we have here...

I am gonna sell off my car and get me one of this-man... Woh-Ha... My very own Y-wing

Talk about plastic guitar, now how am i suppose to play with a square guitar like this... someone demo pleasssseee... Cool or nerd?

Finally, i personally find this cool... it is much better then sticking my laptop on my chest with a bunch of duck-tapes and far less painful... verv cool or very nerd?

Dumbass #4972

2008-05-08T08:30:00.001+08:00

Took this picture right outside the window of my office. Apparently these dumbasses were trying to fit this huge and heavy tank into the back of a truck without bothering to open up the side railings, resulting in massive railing damage when one of the chains holding the tank gave way. Funny that the company who owns the truck has the initials "BS".

On a more serious note, imagine if the tank toppled over to the side of the road. They're lucky it's not a very busy road, or the government will have to consider enacting another law to prevent dumbasses from attempting stunts like this again.

Ah Beng Jokes from JM...

2008-05-07T16:17:00.001+08:00

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
"My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"

Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"

Guitar Hero: For people who want to play the guitar but suck at the real thing

2008-05-06T13:36:00.002+08:00

Partly peer influence and partly sheer love for the sweet sound of the instrument, I unloaded roughly RM600 (about S$300) into a beautiful honey brown Ibanez acoustic guitar when I was still a weeny teen. Nearly twenty years later, my musical prowess is still limited to the first half of Romance D'Amour and a simplified version of Eric Clapton's Signe (from his Unplugged album). And my guitar is currently in the better hands of Guitar Freak. I appreciate the efforts that he and Tech Freak put into whipping me into shape during all those hot, lazy weekend afternoons, but I think it would have been more fruitful if said whipping was more literal than figurative.

Yeah, my guitar-ing sucks (I couldn't even strum properly), but imagine the horror on Tech and Guitar Freak's when I completed Guitar Hero's Crossroads (ironically, another E.C. gem) and (Stevie Ray Vaughan's) Texas Flood on Medium setting before they did, and hardly broke a sweat doing it. They were astonished that I jammed my way through the solos with little difficulty, which they once claimed were impossible. To be fair, compared to the real thing, Guitar Hero is far less complex and easier to play. And it takes some getting used to for people like my two buddies so accustomed to plucking strings instead of nudging buttons. At the end of the day, it still doesn't mean dick, because it's not like you will become a better guitarist after several sessions of GH. I'm still as inept as ever, while my buds continue to make chicks wet playing their instruments of love.

Well, at least I still have the picture of their horrified faces in memory. ;)

GTA4 Guy Spotted!!

2008-05-06T13:29:00.003+08:00

Mr Roy Keane is our GTA4 guy. He's former ex-Man United skipper, badass midfielder who loved nasty tackle and swears a lot. Currently the manager of Premier League club Sunderland. Doing a good job in his first season in the League. Oh BTW, he's Irish...so he's definitely our GTA4 guy.

Enuff said...back to work.

Corporate Memo Leaked!!

2008-05-05T11:44:00.003+08:00

Mentally disturbing

2008-05-05T08:00:00.000+08:00

Someone took footages from Japanese McDonald's ads and edited them into this nightmarish concoction. Coulrophobics beware!

Another joke from ProfX

2008-05-04T22:47:00.002+08:00

... this guy begging his wife to show her left boob while masterbating....
after a while he ask can i see the right one as well...
wife asks... does your birthday and christmas come on the same day?
...
...
...

Too... much... time!

2008-05-04T16:12:00.000+08:00

This guy actually made a mod version of Super Mario Bros which runs on its own, and actually SYNCHRONISES with the added background pop music. Wah liao eh...

Freak Spotted in Mines Wonderland, KL

2008-05-03T13:28:00.007+08:00

yo freaks~!

since this is my first ever blog posting, i thought of posting something rather disturbing to share with you pervs.

this THING is one of the mascots at the Mines Wonderland, KL. went there with my family during chinese new year.

at first glance, i couldn't tell WTF it was. looks like a sheep / goat with yellow pop-corn-like fur coat...but wait a sec...a pair of wings? so i moved on and came to this "safari" with "very exotic" wildlife animals. i found the inspiration of the design...

morale of this story? don't fucking go to Mines Wonder-fucking-land!!!

The BMF is inviting the Freaks to the Indiana Jones 4 premiere!

2008-05-02T11:03:00.004+08:00

Hey guys! I know you all are busy with work and stuff, but Indiana Jones 4 is right around the corner. It's not just a movie, it's an event, and we shouldn't be missing this, especially on Day One. So, I'm inviting you guys to join me on 22 May (might be 21). I can't determine the time or venue yet because it depends on which cinema is the most convenient for you guys, so you need to tell me. I know it's a long shot, but at least you can't blame me for trying. ;) Please give me an answer by 16 May. Thanks guys!

1UP.COM review of Mario Kart Wii and Grand Theft Auto 4!

2008-05-01T08:44:00.001+08:00

Coolest. Website. Ever.

2008-04-30T22:22:00.002+08:00

What's worse than getting caught watching porn at work?

2008-04-30T08:35:00.000+08:00

Getting caught watching porn at work more than once in the same day.

It's out! Grand Theft Auto 4!

2008-04-29T09:06:00.002+08:00

Check out the 1up.com review here!
But please, don't go to Gamespot.com.

A joke from ProfX

2008-04-29T00:22:00.001+08:00

This 3 couples going for camping trip... but 1 couple tent broken so they split men and women tent...

so one of the men at night got a hard on... tells the other guy... goin to shagg his wife there... don't give a damn anymore...

the other guy says... better brin me along...
he says why???
cos you're holding my dick... la

GTA4 : Countdown : 1

2008-04-28T09:13:00.002+08:00

How to get rid of a one-night-stand

2008-04-28T09:10:00.000+08:00

glumbert - How to get rid of a one night stand

GTA4 : Countdown : 3

2008-04-26T10:24:00.002+08:00

Magic Card Trick

2008-04-25T22:50:00.002+08:00

Some how I was guessing that all the best magician actually goes through this, just look as how they walk... LINK

OMG... Keyboard

2008-04-25T11:44:00.002+08:00

The design of this latest keyboard is really weird. Now, why did they put the space bar so near to the "joy stick"... Humm... I am sure wearing this, only females are allowed to borrow my PC to check their emails. Guys are definitely NOT allowed to use the space bar (near the joy stick)... LINK

GTA4 : Countdown : 4

2008-04-25T09:34:00.004+08:00

He's dead, Jim...

2008-04-24T13:56:00.001+08:00

glumbert - He's Dead Jim

GTA4 : Countdown : 5

2008-04-24T13:32:00.003+08:00

GTA4 : Countdown : 6

2008-04-23T13:19:00.002+08:00

WWE Smackdown: Obama vs. Clinton!

2008-04-23T13:12:00.001+08:00

GTA4 : Countdown : 7

2008-04-22T08:05:00.003+08:00

Shameless promotion

2008-04-22T00:26:00.003+08:00

Just wanted to let you guys know that I update my blog daily on http://www.thebigmoviefreak.blogspot.com/, so please come over and check it out for notable, movie-related news. Thanksss.

The 5 Most Amazing Real-life MacGyver Moments

2008-04-21T16:44:00.005+08:00

This should be of interest to number one MacGyver fan, Tech Freak. Check out the article here.

2nd DumbAss of the Month - Apr 2008

2008-04-21T12:12:00.003+08:00

Wow, I manage to find two dumbasses for the month Apr 2008 and we still have one more week to go before May. Link.

DumbAss of the Month: Apr 2008

2008-04-18T13:44:00.006+08:00

GPS vs Signboard

What can you say about improving technology vs porpulation IQ levels?

GTA4 : ETA 29/4/08 : PS3 / XBOX360

2008-04-16T17:04:00.005+08:00

Game: You Have To Burn The Rope

2008-04-16T15:02:00.001+08:00

Sleeping Beauty

2008-04-15T23:58:00.003+08:00

Katherine... snore... Heigl... snore...

Gold digga!

2008-04-15T22:54:00.005+08:00

Man, I wouldn't want to touch THAT keyboard!

EGM has lost its Shoe

2008-04-15T16:02:00.002+08:00

After 11 years, Electronic Gaming Monthly's Editor-in-Chief, Dan "Shoe" Hsu (no relations to Guitar Freak) has quit. According to his blog here, his resignation is an amicable one, and not in anyway Gerstmanngate-like. Apparently, he needed a break after many years of not having "a proper vacation that's lasted more than 3-4 days." Good luck, Shoe. We'll miss having a pair.

Alien technology #165167

2008-04-15T12:14:00.001+08:00

Check this out, from IMDb.com:
"New Movie Media Devices Predicted - Presaging a day when hand-held media devices come preloaded with thousands of movies, videos and music tracks that can be individually unlocked by a code -- thereby eliminating the need for slow downloads -- scientists at IBM said on Friday that they had developed a new type of storage device capable of holding a hundred times more information than those in current use. Writing in the magazine Science, the scientists, who are based at the IBC research center in San Jose, CA, said that the device, smaller than those used in iPods, would be able to hold about 3,500 full-length films, and use so little power that it could run on a single battery charge for weeks at a time. "

Another addition to our list of freakos

2008-04-15T11:31:00.003+08:00

PROF.X!!!

FREAKSPEAK ver 1.2 (edited)

2008-04-14T19:16:00.005+08:00

FREAKSPEAK ver 1.0

chow = goodbye, ciao
cun (choon) = pretty, cool
dumbass = dumbass
freako = brother, friend, psychopath
kotek = Tennis Freak
monkey = corrupt/inept government official
perv = a Sex Freak
pootee = Jindavis
pundek = Spoovans
shiok = exhilarating
siao = crazy

Well, since we are started with this, let me help add to the list some of the very important FREAKSPEAK just for completeness sake.

But before that, I have no idea WTF is "pootee". Some dumbass (aka Car Freak) just made that up while he was on the toilet bowl, anyway…

FREAKSPEAK ver 1.2

kasut = Guitar Freak
nia-ma = there’s your mother
nia-beh = there’s your horse
ma-hai = this is how Guitar Freak say ‘hello’ when answering phone
eh-chee-bye = this is how Guitar Freak interrupts a conversation to add his views
yo-chee-bye = how Guitar Freak calls any of us when he forgets our names (sometimes)
knn (car knee near) = means, your knee is near my car (warning, step away from the vehicle!)
dumbass = a special word, can be used on almost anyone you like or dislike
ccb (ciao-chee-bye) = what you say when waving goodbye to someone you dislike
crap-shit = a piece of shitty tech item
(e.g. if I were to say "crap-shit" while typing this, chances are I am referring to my PC)
bullshit = a whole lot of shit (or crap-shit x 10)
lesbo = lesbian
gay-boy = Spoovans
gay-man = Guitar Freak
ke-ling-beng = Spoovans
ah-beng = BMF
ah-seng = Guitar Freak
ah-long = something that Sex Freak thinks he has
(none of use ever confronted his statement & probably never will)
yo-f#@ker = this is how Guitar Freak says "Yo what's up man!"

Yo pervs

2008-04-14T09:22:00.004+08:00

As the Big Movie Freak, I should be recommending movies like Gandhi or Schindler's List, but since this is a very special blog, I'm going to point you guys to this Korean-made sex comedy instead. You heard that right... SEX COMEDY. Now, go get your trenchcoats and head off to Yangtze.

The Joys of car ownership in SG

2008-04-13T17:04:00.002+08:00

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

Before I could proceed any further, I would like to reiterate that I not a Greenpeace activist, True Blue Treehugger or someone paid by SMRT to promote public transportation; But in fact I am car nut who loves cars and would spend a fortune to keep my 'ride' in a almost showroom condition.

But in the context of our great city state, In my humble opinion, a private car, which a mode personal transportation which is supposed to shorten travel time and provide more comfort and convenience to its users, doesn't seem to fit its purpose.
Allow me to state my point;
1. Cars in SG are generally overpriced and are under specced, compared to other developed countries, in order to create an illusion that cars in SG are afforable to public. But in fact, most car buyers take a HP loan of between 7-10 years to pay for their 'affordable' rides. (p.s. I am talking about bread and butter saloons used by lower to middle class people)

2.Prohibitive hidden cost of using a private car in SG; I.E ERP charges, HDB parking charges, Vicom Emission test (for vehicles that are more than 5 years old), maintenance cost, road tax and also insurance (lets not get into accidents to keep it simple)

3.The '24 points' in a SG drivers license, so guys and gals be careful in safeguarding your points, as you could lose it real quick and you would need to redo your driver's test; and also SG trafiic police

4. The prohibitive cost of getting a license

5. The mind-boggling, procedures and nomenclature nightmare in selling and buying a car in SG.

6. Traffic jams and too many traffic lights causing never ending stop-start trafiic and finally;

7. Singapore's famous efficient public transportation system, which gets you where you want to go, on time, and at fraction of the cost!

Hence, I ask you, Is it worth having a car in Singapore??

Second...

2008-04-12T18:32:00.000+08:00

Since I am a TECH FREAK, let me start off with an IT topic… so something very close to my heart…

Firstly, let’s talk about DVDs (aka Digitize Video Dumbass). I love DVDs, EXCEPT for the stupid "legal statement" menu. When I start my DVDs, I am always asked to select a language (i.e. English, Thai, Malay, Chinese). After selecting a language (i.e. English) the DVD player will then take 5 whole minutes to go through ALL the freaking "legal statement" for ALL languages. WTF is wrong with the programming there? The fact that I don’t even understand the other languages, why show me something that I don’t and will never understand? I mean, WTF is wrong with that? After years of R&D developing DVDs, this is the best that can be done? Really-man, something is fundamentally wrong here!

Next, is my gripe about all the bloody freaking so called "free membership" on the internet! Why ask for so much info (i.e. name, email, birthday, address, crap-shit, etc.). The fact that they don’t even have a way to verify the information… WHY ask and make us go through all the trouble to type in 20 user name to finally find that "john2946568399" is the ONLY user name that is available and NOT being used by the other 2 million "John’s" in the world. Will it NOT be easier to just use an "EMAIL" instead? No matter how inaccurate my information, the email will still be valid as it will be used daily and the fact that it is already unique.

In conclusion, firstly, I still hate blogging… really… but the real conclusion is… why are all these IT / Software / web-designers / programmer so freaking DUMB and able to come-up with absolutely unnecessary and not to mentioned DUMBASS ideas? You are telling me that after spending all the time in Universities or Colleges (50% drunk, 20% sleeping around, 20% trying to sleep with someone, and 10% actual studying plus going to toilet), this is the best idea that we can come-up with? Is this what we get from learning to "think out of the dam box" rather than "thinking straight forward" when solving a problem or coming up with ideas?

We really need to do better than this man!

FIRST!!!

2008-04-12T15:53:00.004+08:00